Six months in new york, still figuring it out.
Six months of new beginnings, new people, big dreams, and a little New York Propaganda.
A little over six months ago I finally moved to the place I’ve dreamed of living my entire life. I know it sounds cheesy but it’s true. As a little girl I always envisioned a very specific life for myself in adulthood, particularly with a city view and endless opportunity. Of course as a kid there are no limits to what you can dream of. As I got older, I knew everything wouldn’t play out with the same glitz and glamour you assume comes easy when you’re little, but the desire to make it to the city stayed the same. There was always something intoxicating about the feeling of starting over in a city where everyone is hungry to achieve their goals. I fell for every piece of New York propaganda fed to us through TV and movies. And somehow, after actually living here, I still believe it. I’ve learned so much from New York in the past six months and I can’t wait to keep going.
Right before I got on the plane I heard every word of warning from friends and family about how I was taking a “big risk” and life was not going to be filled with the magic I had crafted in my head. It would feel different than vacation, but that is exactly what I was looking forward to the most. I wanted so desperately to experience what my life could be working in the city, meeting new people, exploring new opportunities, and being surrounded by others who were hungry for their dreams and were not afraid to admit it. That’s the most inspiring thing about living in the city to me: being constantly surrounded by people who are honest about their desires and feeling motivated by their drive and creativity. My life here is not perfect and I’ve definitely learned some harsh realities living in an expensive city with a salary that does not reflect the location. BUT! It’s been rewarding to see what I am capable of when put to the challenge and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I embrace the opportunity to grow through uncomfortable times in the place that continues to show me new parts of who I am.
With that, living in the city for six months has taught me more than I could have imagined, but to break it down, I want to share some takeaways from half a year of life here so far.
I moved in the dead of winter towards the end of January. I remember so vividly landing in New York one day before that first record snow storm of the winter. When I got to my apartment complex my roommate met me outside to help bring my luggage upstairs. While we were walking inside I mentioned to him we should go to the grocery store and some guy from our building who was rushing outside chimed in saying we needed to go ASAP. The next thing I knew it was the next day and we were snowed inside. This was the first time I had seen snow since I was around 5 years old. Plunging into the deep end of a physical environment I had never experienced symbolized more than just the physical change– it was the start of my next chapter. Those first few days taught me I could adapt to being thrown into something completely unfamiliar and that there’s always something exciting to see.
One of the first things I realized after moving was how important it would be to build an inner circle. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Making friends as an adult feels more vulnerable than dating!!! There’s more pressure. You are living in a new city, you left behind everyone and everything in your comfort zone, and you hardly know anyone here, in the place you want to build your life. Let’s be honest, yes dating is intense but if a date goes bad you can always laugh it off with your friends. Hence, having an inner circle to support you through the adjustment is important, but you also can’t put too much pressure on yourself to find it immediately. Friendship takes time to build and it is worth the wait. I’ve learned to put myself out there when it comes to pursuing friendship, and it’s served as a reminder that it is not and never will be embarrassing to ask someone out on a “friend date.” WE ARE ALL IN NEED OF COMMUNITY.
And slowly, I’ve started to feel like I’m actually building a community here. I started work not long after moving and eventually found my rhythm. With that came getting comfortable and building connections. Watching relationships that started through work grow into something that feels like a genuine community has been so rewarding. I came here without one, and now I’m beginning to build one for myself. It’s been a reminder that I made the right choice.
While putting myself out there platonically has been rewarding, romantically…. Is another story. I can proudly say my rose colored glasses haven’t worn off yet when it comes to the city, but I cannot say the same for dating in the city (without too much detail). However, my perspective on dating in your twenties has become one of gratitude and lightheartedness. Getting to know people is FUN! And sometimes it stops being fun and that’s okay too. There’s nothing embarrassing about putting yourself out there romantically and learning about others and yourself along the way. If it doesn't work, then you leave the experience with a better understanding of who you are and what you want to carry with you into the next.
New York is filled with passionate and driven people who stop at nothing to achieve their dreams and aspirations. That’s been something I’ve taken in and felt so encouraged by. The desire to open doors I had previously closed has only grown stronger. Sometimes you have to change your environment to realize your dreams aren’t unattainable– you were just in the wrong place, holding yourself back. I know I was.
Lastly, be open and honest about what you want!!!!! Your dreams are not embarrassing, and having career goals, no matter how outlandish you think they seem, is important! Having the guts to go after what you want will take you further than you know. I love New York, and I think it shows you all parts of yourself. I’ve had wins and losses here, but even on the mundane days, I feel inspired every day I’m here to figure it out and make it work, which is all I could ask for and more!
